Physical Attraction

Yes, eye candy is nice.  It's like looking at a beautiful sunset or a majestic mountain or a mesmerizing waterfall.  About 1% of the population (statistical fact) is born with a physically "perfect" body.  I am one of the normal ones in the 99% group.  Glad I am not one of the freaks in the 1% group!  lol! 

We are wired to be attracted to beauty.  Fact.  So when we see it, we take pause, gawk, etc.  However, we have been programmed by the media and mags and friends to believe that beauty is narrowly defined.  There is beauty in everything.  You just have to look for it sometimes.

I like nice looking men just like any woman.  I like a man with a nice body just like any woman.  Would I be so shallow as to blow him off if his body wasn't perfect or his face wasn't exactly the type I like?  It depends.  I have to find something about the guy that physically attracts me...his eyes, smile, arms, hands, voice, ass...and then his intellect, his mannerisms, the way he thinks, his kindness.  I like a nice combo of physical attraction with other personal characteristics.

I went out with a guy who was serious eye candy and he thought I was hot, too.  We were physically attracted to each other.  The sad thing was...nothing in common!  We had little to talk about.  It was kinda empty.  I can't date empty men who are just physically attractive and nothing else.  Doesn't work for me.

Now, I believe a man can do that.  Men don't like to talk much anyway.  They just like to gawk at beauty and then fuck it.  That sounds crude!  Not all men are like that, I know.  But it makes my point.  Physical attractiveness is SO important to a man.  They are very visually wired. 

For a woman, other things can be attractive about the guy - like how successful he is and how he wines and dines her can make him very attractive to a woman even though he may look as ugly as a dog.  Look at Bill Gates and Donald Trump - ugly men!  I don't think enough money could make me go out with men that ugly.  I would walk away from money for physical attractiveness....I think.

What is more shallow - money or physically attractiveness?  Actually, shallowness depends on you.  If you are a shallow person and make decisions based on surface matters...well, that's shallow.  However, if you are a person of depth and make your decisions based on truly important  reasons...then it is not shallow to want someone with money or who is physically attractive.  Examine your reasons.  Do your reasons have depth and importance?  If so, go for it.

And that's the "naked" truth!

Slow Seduction

There is an art to seduction that I am learning through trial and error...mostly error.  It is not about the end result, but the process that is key to acquiring your end result...whatever that might be.  Seduction requires incredible amounts of patience...a quality I have poorly lacked in the past.  Maybe that is why these lessons in seduction are so painful.  I am having to learn patience!  Dang it!

I am the type that tends to want it now.  In the last couple of years, I have received many lessons in patience.  Because of these lessons, I am a more patient person - in general.  However, I still have a ways to go when it comes to patience in romance and specifically seduction.

My head is clogged with a head cold at the moment so I am not thinking clearly...in fact, I am thinking quite slowly.  Hmmm....could this be a key to slow seduction...thinking slowly?

Okay girls...most of you have been there.  You meet a guy you really like.  You want him damnit!  But you blow it because you move too fast, give in too early, act too desperate, call too many times...blah, blah, blah.  By the way, men do the same thing sometimes - if they really like the woman.  They just can't contain their need and want and excitement for her.  All are guilty. 

Patience is the answer...simple patience...waiting with a calm expectation that all will turn out as you wish.  Easier said than done.  We want to control the situation to speed it up a bit.  Well, that just messes everything up.  It really does.

Slow and steady, as the say, will get you where you want to go.

And that's the "naked" truth!

Self Love

Okay, girls and boys...there is the pleasurable self love that you can do alone with yourself...and that is all fine and good.  Enjoy!  However, that is not what I am going to talk about today.  Aww!  I know.  We will address this topic another day. 

Loving self is probably the most difficult life challenge for most of humanity.  We have been taught to believe that we come into the world as sinners, as wild beasts, as untamed spirits.  Even our parents and caregivers sent us messages either directly or indirectly that we were not good enough, not smart enough, lazy, stupid, inferior, not deserving, and worthless.  Lies!  All a bunch of lies and illusions and delusions!  Unfortunately, those beliefs were programmed into us at a young age.  Even if we don't believe these lies consciously, we do resonate with these beliefs on an unconscious level.

We were created perfect and in the image of our Creator.  Something cannot be created in the image of perfection and not be perfect!  However, most of us do not truly believe we are perfect and made from pure love on an unconscious level.  This is the most important level to believe something.  If truth does not resonate at the unconscious level, it does not matter what you believe consciously.  You vibrate at the frequency of your unconscious beliefs.  That is what runs your life.

You have all heard this before that you cannot love and accept another person as they are until you completely love and accept yourself as you are.  This is where lots of the drama in relationships begin.  One or both partners cannot accept and love something in the other.  Arguments, blaming, ugly comments, distancing, making excuses to avoid intimacy, and so forth begin to riddle the relationship.  In relationships, we are just looking into the mirror of self.  What we see reflected back to us is who we believe we are.  If you don't like what is being reflected back, it is your responsibility to change.

Disrespecting or running away from someone you love because of your own issues with self love and acceptance in no way assists you in your spiritual growth.  You will just have to repeat the process with someone else until you learn the lesson of self love and acceptance.  That's no fun!  Plus, you may have just walked away from the love of your life.  How sad is that!

So, in addition to playing with yourself for pleasure, spend some time really examining the early messages you were sent in your youth  Are these unconscious beliefs getting in the way of a special relationship?  Are you always attracting partners who can't love and accept you for who you are?  This is about you...not them.  What in you do you not love and accept?  It will only be reflected back to you in intimate relationships.

And that's the naked truth!

The Man Craving...

I hate it when that happens!  You know girls...you can just taste him.  You are so hungry for a guy...any guy...well, almost.  For me, it's like this craving to just kiss and kiss and eat him up!  Lol!  It does feel like a food craving.  You want to be filled.  Well, that's the feminine sexual essence for you.  She needs to be filled and fed with life and love and sensuality and a man's depth and his...(edit).

Very symbolic.

Everything about a woman and a man's body is symbolic of how we exist in the world.  A man is "out there" and experiences the world from the outside.  A woman is internal in her nature and experiences the world from within.  The world enters her.  For a man, he must enter the world.  All of nature is feminine.  A guy who craves being out in nature all the time or golfing is really craving that feminine energy in his life.  Women who are very directional and business oriented all the time are using their work as a male sexual substitute. We use sexual substitutes all the time.  Women use food as a sexual substitute to be filled.  Our pets and our children can become our sexual substitutes...not in a perverted way...but as a way to fill that deepest part of our yearning for love from a depth that only someone of the opposite sexual polarity can give you.

Careful with sexual substitutes.  They drain your sexual energy so that you have none to give when the right man or woman comes along.  For example, a man can use attractive "female friends" as a sexual substitute when he is in between relationships or not wanting a committed relationship.  He will just drain away that sexual energy so that you have none left for a guy who really does want what you want.  We women unknowingly do this to ourselves when we spend lots of time with male friends.

The masculine cannot live without our energy.  They crave us way more than we crave them.  We crave a man's depth and direction.  We want a man who is not afraid of our ocean of emotion.  We want a man that can shift our bad mood with humor and deep love...passionate love.  We hate it when we are in a bad mood and the man runs and escapes into his man cave, tinkers in the garage or goes and plays golf or some other avoidance mechanism!  WE HATE THAT!  Why?  Because he is afraid of our goddess power.  In our hearts and minds he is being a wimp!  And that angers the goddess within us.  We need a man who will stand up to our emotions and power and not wimp out on us.  We can't trust a man who runs.  When we can intimidate a man with our moods we cease to trust him.  He is not a strong man in our eyes.  The feminine needs the strong masculine to keep her contained.  She is the ocean.  He is the boat on the ocean.  She can swallow him whole in a second! 

That's why, girls, we just lose it for confident and cocky types.  Those guys aren't afraid of us.  If they are, they don't show it.  A good man, though, is confident around a strong woman because he respects her power and knows how to handle her moods with confidence   We CRAVE that confidence in a man!  Men like that... love like that and we crave that kind of loving...don't we girls?  Confident lovers are a very sexy turn on for the feminine goddess.  Yum!

And that's the naked truth!

Bad Boys and Smart Girls

Bad boys and smart girls...never the twain shall meet? 

Oh, they meet alright in odd and interesting ways when they are older and out of high school.  There is usually an immediate attraction because the two are opposites...that polarization process of "opposites attract" is going on.  Do they know this?  No!  Smart girl is now more into her looks and bad boy has had some success in life and maybe read a book or two.  He married trophy bride model with no brains and realized how boring she really was out of the bedroom.  Smart girl married sensitive intellectual guy and realized how boring he was in the bedroom.  Divorce.  Now they are looking for something different.  Am I right or what?

Going through school I was a "geek" girl...the smart one who always sat at the front of the class and made good grades and studied every night...really!  I loved school.  I loved learning.  I loved cute boys, but they seemed to have no interest in me....or so I thought.

I recently dated a guy that could be considered a "bad boy" or maybe the "player" type.  What I realized was that in our youth - like high school - the bad boys probably secretly liked the smart girls and the smart girls absolutely drooled over the bad boys...but each group had their delusional mis-perceptions about each other.  The bad boys didn't think the smart girls were interested in them because these boys didn't think they were smart enough.  The smart girls felt too geeky looking to think a bad boy would go for them.

We all secretly want what will balance us.  I didn't care for geeky smart guys.  They didn't have the look I liked and they were not very confident, but that is who I usually attracted.  The bad boys, on the other hand, were hot looking and exuded a confidence that was attractive.  They had the confidence I lacked and I had the smarts they felt they lacked.  Neither group dared take the risk of talking to the other for fear of rejection.  So, we secretly longed for each other...is my thinking on this.

Now, twenty or more years later, we meet at a club, on-line, at a bar, wherever...right?  He doesn't know I was the smart geek girl in school and I don't know he was a hot bad boy in his younger years.  An attraction develops pretty quickly.  Bad boy is intrigued with intellectual smart girl.  Smart girl is intrigued with confident hottie.  Why?  It triggers unconscious desires and memories of our youth.  What we wanted to experience at that time but never had the guts to go for.

So, smart girl falls for bad boy and his confidence.  Bad boy is intellectually hooked on smart girl.  He loves the deep conversations and she loves that he is even interested.

But wait!  Bad boy has always attracted the hot girls with little brains. He is familiar with those show girls.  Smart girl has always attracted the intellectual geek guys who cared more about her thoughts than what she looked liked.  Problem.  Bad boy loves her brain and is attracted to her intellect, but she is not a show girl like he is used to.  Smart girl is very attracted to confident bad boy, but not used to his lack of refinement and need for a show girl.  Oh brother!

Where do we go from here?

Time to grow up!  This is what should have happened in our youth had we had the guts to go for it.  When we are young, we are flexible and can accomodate.  Had bad boy and smart girl hooked up in high school, they would have worked it out because the patterns of dating certain types would not have been so set yet.  It would have been a match made in heaven.  The balance would have been struck.

However, meeting later in life and trying to find that balance can be more of a challenge because we have patterns we are fighting against...unconscious patterns over many years of attracting certain types.  It can get in the way of a match made in heaven.  Ego and judgment take over instead of compassion, understanding, and unconditional love.

Will the two ever be as one?

Yes, it is very possible.  How?  Each has to accept and honor the others differences.  It is the differences that are actually most attractive in this relationship.  The differences are the balance.

And that is the "naked" truth!

Married But Separated...I Don't Think So!

Lately I have been meeting men on-line or in clubs who first say they are divorced but on closer interrogation, they are married but separated...or so they say!  What's that about?  You are either married or you are not.  Period.  This in between thinking about divorce does not count!  It's like these men are testing the waters to see if there is an excuse to get divorced.  And I don't want to be their excuse and I have made that very clear in two particular instances.  In fact, I have just told them to call me back when the divorce is final.  Done.  I don't play those games.  Not fair to the other woman...my sister in spirit.

This happened to me.  My husband at the time was married (to me) when he met his now girlfriend...who he moved in with while still married to me.  Granted our marriage was on the rocks, but that was no excuse.  He was married.  Clearly that was of no importance to him or his girlfriend.  I am sure he told her the same story...almost divorced...that was a lie.  We had just separated for healing purposes to save the marriage.  I guess he already had something else in mind.  She was his excuse to actually divorce.  Not good girls!  Don't get involved in a married couples struggles by being the excuse for him to leave his wife.  It will come back to bite you in the ass one day...like you may be the next victim.

So, just don't do it.  Make it clear to the guy that you do not date low lifes like that.  If it is meant to be, he will find you after his divorce.  In this way your potential relationship is free and clear of negative karma.

And that's the "naked" truth!

Live Life Like a Relaxed Expectation Orgasm

Attracting a Mate

Looking For Just One Good Man!

Hey all you single ladies!

Is this our anthem or what?  That's right!  We just need one!  Why is it so hard to find him?

My suggestion:  CREATE HIM!

Yes, you can!  Make a list of 20 attributes you must have in a man.  Then cross out 5 of them.  Focus your intention and belief on those 15 attributes you wish to find in a man every day.  You will begin to notice that men will come into your life with some but not all the attributes.  This lets you know that your manifestation is working.  Go back to the list and refine it over time.  You will notice that some attributes were not all you thought they'd be when actually expressed in a man. 

And let me know when he arrives in your life girl!

So, you want to know my list...hmm...okay...but just know it changes from time to time.

Strong Masculine Essence
Handsome and attractive
Present - emotionally and otherwise
Intelligent with depth
Spiritual
Successful - financially and personally
Has direction in life
Respects women and all of life
Chivalrous - opens doors and does what a man should do for a woman
Sexy, sensual, passionate, romantic, intimate - loves to touch and be touched
Well "hung" - hey, it is important girls!
Generous
Physically healthy and in good shape - takes care of his body and what he puts in it

That's not quite 15 but good enough...just typing that list makes me drool!
Damn I am hungry for some good man!  Yum!

And that's the "naked" truth girls!

Sexual Fantasy Man

Now it's time for less geeky stuff and more juicy "naked" stuff.  Are you with me girls and boys?  Do you have a sexual fantasy man girls?  I do.  He's actually from the recent past.  A REAL man, who has now become my sex fantasy!  Lol!  Now, you may have more than one...that's okay.  Depends on your mood, right?

It's not like men who have a fantasy girl for each day of the week like we girls had embroidered panties with the days of the week on them...remember?  Lol!  Anyway, men love variety.  We just like ONE GOOD MAN.  ONE GOOD MAN is all we need, right ladies?  No need for variety when one man is able to give you all you need.  Men don't get this.  For a man, every woman is different and strange and exotic.  That novelty is what turns a man on.  This is why a man needs, wants, and craves variety.  You can give him everything he wants in bed, but that does not mean he won't fantasize about some girl at work, some girl he saw at a club, some girl in a magazine, some girl driving down the road, some girl who just smiled at him at Starbucks, some girl he knew from way back when, and/or just some girl walking by.

Girls, you gotta get this.  It's important.  Men get bored with you no matter how hot you are or how good you are in bed.  If you don't change things up for them and dye your hair some new color, change your makeup, dress differently, wear a costume every once in a while, then...he will stray...in his mind or in real life.  Now, men stray for several reasons...boredom and because you are being a real unloving bitch to him. Men are actually quite sensitive creatures.  They really need your gentle touch and smile and feminine energy to keep them happy.  They actually just need your sexual energy.  That is what really gets a man going.  Your radiance is very sexy to a man....a serious turn on.

This is why men love younger women.  Younger women have a natural youthful radiance about them.  Their sexual energy is always on and flowing nicely.  These young things haven't been married with kids, divorced several times, boring career and just tired of life yet.  Life can really drain your radiance girls.  When this happens, doesn't matter what kind of face and body you have, no man will find you that attractive.

What to do?  Well, you always have sexual fantasy man, right?  He can only do so much.  I know.  So, how to get your radiance groove back...several ways.  I will cover a couple here, but this is not an exhaustive list.  Don't laugh, but prayer and meditation is one of the best ways to get that radiance back.  Yes girls!  I know you think I am just crazy for always bringing up spiritual matters and sex.  Well, they go hand in hand.  I am trying to unbrain wash you!

Radiance comes from Spirit.  It's that amazing life force energy that flows through all of us.  When a woman gets in touch with her deep spiritual side and falls in love with her Creator like her Beloved...wow!  You will glow like a radioactive thingy-ma-jiggy!  Breathing while meditating on higher thoughts and spiritual matters will do the same thing.  Breathing oxygenates the blood.  Breathing with purpose to bring more radiance into your body is even better!

Do everything with INTENTION.  I will blog about that important topic later.

Back to breathing. You can breath that Kundalini energy awake by visualizing breathing into the 2nd chakra (orange) that is located right below your navel (belly button for those who have problems locating their anatomy).  This is the sexual energy center of the body...the creative center.  If it is closed, shut down, spinning the wrong direction - then you probably have creativity and sexual blocks in your life.  This can happen for many reasons that I won't go into here.  You know who you are.  I would suggest going to an alternative practitioner who can open and balance your chakras.  You can also do it yourself with intention, focus and meditation.  But if you have never done something like this before, go to someone the first time.  They can teach you.  There is a wealth of knowledge on the internet as well.  Just google Chakras and you will get an explanation about each one and what it represents and how each energy center effects your life.  I will talk more about chakras in other postings.

So, you got your radiance back. Great!  How do you keep it?  Well, don't waste it on men who just want to use your sexual energy as their sexual substitute but are unwilling to commit to you in a real relationship.  Men can suck this energy right out of us.  They thrive on this energy.  It gives them energy and power to conquer their world.  That is why they say that behind every great man is an even greater woman.  There is serious truth to that.  It's that woman's energy that makes that man so great.

So, you give it to a worthy man who respects you and puts you first in his life.

Many men who "play the field" get this energy from those young things they meet.  A man and woman do not have to actually have sex to exchange and give away this energy.  When you are attracted to someone and they are attracted to you, that energy is flowing between the two of you.  If you are on a simple date with a guy and things are going well, you are sending him this energy.  He may or may not be sending it back.  Over time, being around too many men and having them drain this energy from you is exhausting and ages you.  I feel for you girls that have to work with all men.  You are at a big disadvantage in that your radiance is constantly being sucked out of you by all those leering men....especially if you are an attractive woman.

One more way to get that radiance back...spend lots of time in the company of other women...good women who lift your spirits and are spiritual themselves.  Hang out around other radiant women.  Being around the goddess energy will fill you back up with the goddess energy men have drained from you.  Spending too much time with men...even male friends...not good.  They cannot give you that goddess energy.  Find a woman's group you resonate with and get your radiance groove back.

Now you see why men love the idea of harems?  A man walks into a room of young attractive women who think he is attractive and boom...he is hit with all this intense sexual energy.  He is on top of the world...life is good...he can conquer anything.  Where do you think the idea of a "club" came from?  Most club owners are men and their goal is to get as many "hot" girls to their club as possible because that draws in the men who spend the money on the girls to get the sexual energy fix they need and want.  This is the reason porn and topless bars and dance bars are such a big business.  These are all sexual substitutes for men.  Very harmful to men and women alike because they disrespect the sacredness of our sexual nature and they can become addictive.

You are being used at these clubs girls...wake up!  I know they can be fun...just limit the amount of time you spend in those places.  They can be spiritually harmful after a while.

And that is the "naked" truth!

Morning Geek!

I am such a geek! I woke up all excited about the fact that I can text to my blog anytime!

OMG! It's 7am and I am sitting out on my balcony overlooking a sweet greenbelt texting from my phone!

I do have my challenges with texting to my blog...like being unable to add a title. So I will have to go back in and modify later.

And for the purposes of efficiency and timeliness, the rules of punctuation, grammar, and capitalization may be ignored. I apologize now to all you editors out there that hate the bad writing habits texting is developing in our youth. Well, at least you know your jobs are secure for the future!

Okay, let's see if this entry will post as one complete post. You know how texting programs will sometimes cut your long text into several texts. I hate that!

Independence Day Geek!

Saw the 4th of July fireworks on Town Lake in Austin, Tx with a friend. Had great seats right below the fire light show. Going to Opa's for some coffee now at 11PM. Testing to see if i can actually text to my blog.  If this works, dear god!  And yes, I am texting at a fireworks display!  So!

Okay, so that was last night.  I am now editing this post from my computer.  Wow!  I am going to be seriously dangerous now that I can text to my blog anytime, anywhere, for any reason.

Texting friends, it's good bye to all of you.  Thanks for assisting me in my times of boredom and texting me endlessly for hours.  I now have a new love, texting to my blog.  I can text forever!!!!  Oh, the "naked" bliss of it!

Ta-ta!

I Like It Rough!

Don't we all like it rough sometimes, girls? Yep, we do. Why? Some of us just love the drama more than the boy...the man...who ever...I have a girlfriend struggling with this. We like it rough in all kinds of ways. Makes life interesting and not so boring. Gets us out of our heads and into our bodies or vice versa. The feminine loves the dance of being in life and experiencing it even if it is rough at times. But we create it. No one to blame but our own choices.

And then there is the "fun" kinda rough...you know what I mean. Can't play that game with just anyone. That game has to be played with a man you can trust - really trust. Hard to find a guy like that. Most men are just players. You can never trust a player. They will tell you what you want to hear just to play the game. They are out for themselves to get that next sexual high and release. You are just the tool they use to get there. Girls, you aren't tools...don't play that kinda game with a player. You will always lose.

However, if you do find that special man you can really trust, then why not! Experience all you can when you have that kind of connection with a guy. The high you can get from that connection is so worth it. Takes your experiences to a more profound, may I say, spiritual level. Yes, that's right - spiritual level. The sexual connection is the way to experience "god" when the bond is pure and based on love and complete trust. Nothing else like it. Most people are still asleep and haven't realized that the most powerful way to connect with the sacred is through the use of sexual energy. You can even transcend the physical plane during an intense sexual experience. There is a lot written out there about this. This is nothing new or new age. Egyptian culture understood this thousands of years ago. All great civilizations knew this. There were actual temples of worship headed by Priestesses who knew the spiritual art of using Kundalini energy to connect with Spirit through sacred sexual acts.

Our world has been perverted with lies about sex being evil and bad and wrong. Yes, there are instances where the use of this power is abusive...when it is used for selfish reasons where deceit and no love is involved in the union...like sex with a "player" who just wants one thing. This is damaging to you and to him on an energetic and soul level. The sexual act is always sacred, but so many have been made to believe it is not. It is sacred and should be treated as such. To truly receive the spiritual benefits that sexual union has to offer, one must share this act within a loving and trusting union of commitment to one's lover and partner. This act cannot be shared with several sexual partners at a time...it dissipates the energy between everyone and no one benefits. The trust is lost when such an act is spread to several partners. This is why, I believe, most religions state that it is a "sin" to have sex with someone outside of marriage. What they are saying is that this is a sacred act which should be shared with one special soul at a time, not used for selfish purposes...physical highs and releases...at the expense of the other sexual partner.

Men tend to disrespect the sex act more than women. Women need that emotional connection. Men don't. They just need a willing woman. What men don't realize is that they are hurting themselves on a spirit/soul level...and hurting every woman at the same time. One selfish sexual act harms the whole of humanity. Its sounds harsh but true. All choices have a consequence that effects the whole because we are all energetically connected..connected to our Creator. When a man disrespects a woman sexually by deceit...making her believe she means something to him when she really doesn't, he is hurting the feminine goddess that connects all of life. One act feeds more evil acts...this is why pornography, child sexual abuse, sex slavery, and so forth is so rampant. There is no difference energetically between a man who rapes and a man who deceitfully uses a woman for sex. It is all the same and causes just as much damage spiritually to our world.

Women need to stand in their power and not allow this abuse. We are just as much to blame, girls, when we allow ourselves to be used. The sexual act is sacred and we as women are the bearers of this truth. We need to respect our sacred sexual power and only share it with a truly deserving man we can trust who has a loving and open heart. In this way, we are giving light to humanity through each sacred act of sex. The energy that is created, if intentioned well, can heal the world!

If you are in a loving and committed spiritual relationship with someone, use it for the betterment of humanity. Set clear intentions for the love you create with your partner and be of those who send healing energy out to an ailing world.

And if you like it sacredly rough, you go girl!

Ha!

The naked truth girl!

The Naked Friend Thang!

Okay, so I met this guy over 8 months ago. Didn't mean to fall for him. Didn't find him all that on our first date and actually wasn't planning to go out with him again. Then he calls me and we talk and I agree to a second date. There was something about that phone conversation that made me give this guy a second chance. Now, he is a player ladies. Maybe he just knew what I wanted to hear. That is probably the naked truth...but who knows. I think it had something to do with his manly chivalrousness. I got the sense that he would take a bullet for me. He has a strong protection vibe about him that made me feel all safe and cozy. He was the first older man I have ever dated...in his early 50's which is usually out of my age range for dating...but I made an exception because he looked much younger than his age. And upon further inspection, had one hell of a nice body. He lifted weights and took care of himself. So now I don't automatically write off older men if they are healthy and fit.

He seemed into me and by the third date, I was very into him. Many reasons for that...one of which was that he was the first guy I had dated in over 15 years! Yes, ma'am ladies. I was finally getting out on the dating scene since my ex left two and a half years before. I'd not felt like even looking at men much less date one for a long time. It was a huge devastation when my husband left me for a younger and more beautiful woman...but let us not digress.

He liked me and I liked him...things were going well and then I realize that he is seeing other women and sleeping with them! It just made me sick to my stomach and I confronted him and told him that. He did tell me on our first date that he does not commit until he has known the woman for about 6 months. So I struggled through this wanting to see him but knowing that he was also dating other women as well. It was very hard. I had grown to love the guy! It really took me by surprise! My girlfriend had to point it out to me that I had fallen for him! He did feel bad about it because he knew I was a good girl and deserved a commitment from a man. So somewhere in there he cooled off our situation even though I resisted it. It did not cool off my heart desire for him.

It is now 8 months that he has known me...passed his 6 month thingy about committing...and he has put me into "friend for life" category! F that! Ugh! He is not actively dating anymore. Says he is practicing celibacy...not sure if I believe him. He probably is for the most part, but you never know with this guy. He struggles with his passion for beautiful women.

I am making him sound like such a jerk. He really isn't. That is the problem. He is actually a good man with a good heart and a spiritual man. These characteristics are hard to find in men these days. He commands my respect which is hard to do. In fact, I give him a respect I never gave my ex. He was hurt badly in his marriage and is being quite picky and slow about getting into a relationship. He is very ego driven and cares what others think and how they perceive him...so he wants a gorgeous barbie doll at his side. His first wife was a model. Apparently quite gorgeous...but I guess he didn't learn his lesson. He still wants another one. Those kind of women, for the most part, know they can have almost any man so they are very hard to please and will drop a guy in a second if he breaths wrong. Why would any guy want that? Well, I guess for the ego stroke they are willing to put up with the drama and hell of a woman like that. Whatever!

Needless to say...I am not that woman in his eyes! But he does "like" me. Actually, he tells me he "loves" me. That's sweet. Yeah, I love my friends, too. Whatever!

Yes, it stings my ego that I am not that gorgeous barbie doll to him...but if I was...I probably would not be interested in him anyway! ha!

So I go through my moments of just loving him and just hating him for rejecting me. I know he values my friendship. However, I want more than a friendship. I have been so patient and kind with this guy...giving him his space and listening to his dating fiascos and even saving his ass in one situation that could have ended quite badly for him.

And yes, he has taught me a lot about men and the areas where I need to heal and improve. In that sense, he has been a good spiritual lesson for me. He is a blessing in disguise.

My struggle is in letting go of wanting a deep, intimate and loving relationship with him. He has my heart. I have actively attempted to stop what my heart feels, but I can't. As long as I have a connection with him, he triggers my heart. And lately, I have seen and experienced new sides of him that make me fall in love over and over again.

True torture! Torture of the Heart!

I do value our friendship and enjoy my time with him...which is not that often. We do text and talk on the phone every once in a while. I do attend church with him sometimes even though it is not my religion. I enjoy sharing that spiritual time with him. We even prayed together recently which I found very moving. I had never prayed with a man before. It is these deeper qualities in him that tug at my heart on a very deep level.

A friend...a friend? I just have such a hard time accepting that. I know that I need to just release and accept. Easier said than done.

And, yes, I do continue to meet other men and date. However, he still has my heart which makes it hard for another man to come into it. I know that. So it is going to take a very amazing and special guy to break through this heart love I have for this guy. And if that special guy does come along and makes me release my love for this other guy...then he is a keeper!

I know something divine is going on here...I probably need to just move out of the way and let it happen as it may. You never know. Stranger love stories have happened.

And that's the naked truth!

Just thinking with my clothes on!

Hey kiddos!

Well...lots going through my head about many topics. Not sure what to choose.

Just thinking about the stark differences between men and women. Men's energy can be so focused. True feminine energy is not! That is why we women have a hard time concentrating on work when our personal lives are not as we want them to be. Men use their personal troubles as a reason to focus and escape into something more enjoyable. Not fair! I can't do that. If I did, I would be really into my masculine energy and that is not who I am.

Was reading some interesting articles in a women's mag I have not purcased in years! It's one of those mags all about sex and men. Fun to read but kinda materialistic and brainless. However, I did learn some things.

For instance, men love stories. That's how they bond with their male friends, through stories. It doesn't matter if they are true or not. It's a story and if you make it entertaining, that much better. I did not know this! All these years I have been talking with my now ex and recently men on dates and I didn't know this. How clueless! It makes sense. Men love any escape they can get. So telling him a great story in one of his areas of interest will keep his attention. I am finding this task a bit difficult. Women want to talk about work and people and emotions and things that matter like shopping, etc. (lol!) Anyway, the point is...I am finding it hard to find interesting stories to talk to men about. I guess it's time to hit the sports pages. That is as boring and uninteresting to me as an article on anti-aging cosmetics would be to a man.

I just need to find some cool place on line that collects interesting and weird stories. I can get into that. I think guys would also, especially if a woman is telling the story.

Anyway, I am just looking forward to seeing Sex in the City tomorrow and dancing afterwards!
I am sure I will have stories afterwards, but not the kind a man is interested in hearing.

The more I think about this idea of men and women in relationship, the more ridiculous it sounds. Were we ever meant to be truly compatible? Maybe it was just a hilarious experiment by God to entertain himself. Ha! I love God so I mean no disrespect here.

Just thinking naked!

Attracting a Man with Your Naked Energy

So you really think its the looks that get a man? Really?

Nope, it is your energy girls! Yes, that goddess energy that tells a man you are available for the taking. That energy that tells him you will surrender to him if he is the right man. Men do not care whether you have a degree or how well you cook. That comes later. Men respond instantly to the energy you put out there.

Here is a mind blower. If you date a lot and are around men a lot. They are draining this energy from you so that you are not able to attract that man you are seeking. Yes, everytime you go out on a date with a guy, it's like mini sex. You give away that energy. So, keep dating to a minimum.

I know. It sounds crazy. But really...save the energy for the real thing. He may be at the gracery store today, but your energy has been zapped and when your eyes meet, he will feel nothing!

And definitely don't casually sleep with guys all the time. That is a serious depletion of your energy.

That's the crazy naked truth!

Wait to Get Naked!

Well...my sista was having relationship issues...had to be there for her. It's hard when you love someone but they are not a good match for you. You can love someone deeply but not be compatible life partners. Yes, that is the naked truth...and a painful one.

Took her out with a male friend of mine to talk some sense into her, cheer her up, and give her some new eye candy to browse at this sports bar. She wasn't in the mood. She still loves her boyfriend.

This bonding through sex before you get to know someone....NOT A GOOD IDEA!!!!

It takes time to know someone. You may never compeletly know someone but at least explore their character and whether they have addictions and other mental health issues you may not want to deal with.

Once that bond is made, it is hard to break loose of it. You know what I am talking about girls!
With men, they don't bond like us. Most men can get over a woman by finding another woman. Quick and fast - done! I know. Not fair! We women really open our hearts to a man when we decide to have a sexual relationship. That requires that we trust the man. To trust a man is asking a lot. So if you are at that stage and then find out that you are not a match...doesn't feel good...it hurts...a lot!

So...the naked truth is...don't get naked with a man until you really know the guy!
And then think whether you still want to get naked. If he is the real deal, it might be best to
save yourself for that wedding night. What a bond you will experience then!!!!

Yeah, it sounds old fashion...but actually it is quite trendy and consciously aware!

That's the naked truth!

The Naked Truth is Embarrassing!

Hey everyone!

Welcome to one of millions of new blogs out there ready to waste your time with mindless entertainment about someone's life, lack of a life, wanna be life, fictional life and so forth and so on...

I should state that this blog is different...its the naked truth of every blog, right?

And today I am writing almost naked...in just my panties. Actually about to step in the shower after a 4 mile slight jog/walk around my downtown lake in beautiful Austin, TX. I even threw in 70 lunges! Yes! Need to get this butt in shape baby!

So...what's up with the title...well...I am recently divorced and now a single mom. The point is, I have decided to just be bold and talk about my life and my adventures or lack there of...share my wisdom or lack there of...the dating scene or lack there of...and maybe some naked truths...some of which might possibly be fictional just to add excitement to your reading. The irony! I know!

Seriously, I just want to talk about men, dating and sex (or lack there of) and stuff like that. I am sure I will add more robust and meaningful topics as I evolve. Lol!

I think this blog will be quite informative to men and women a like. Being both a researcher left brain type and a creative artist type, you may find my insights interesting- or not. In either case, just enjoy what you can and take with you what serves your life - even if it is just a laugh for the day.

And yes, the naked truth is embarrassing! That is why I choose to remain anonymous at this point...too many people know me and might judge my thoughts, actions, and behaviors in a negative light. And I am also in the field of education so...nuff said!

I think I have just given away too much personal info...if you think you know me...you don't! So move on.

So...yes, I do feel naked writing about my life. I am a private person so this is a big step for me. Now, it is possible no one will ever read this blog and in that case, I have nothing to worry about. However, then what is the purpose of even wasting my time sharing?

And to my friends and family: You will probably be mentioned in some form or fashion so get over it...I won't use your full name unless you upset me and then...well...what can I say...you deserved it! Lol!

I may change names to protect the guilty...or not. Just depends on my mood. And if you think you know these people, you don't! So move on.

Let me share a naked truth for your entertainment. I went hip hop dancing this weekend! I am not a club type and never have been. Now let me set this up. I am not in my 20's or 30's. I am older and a mom for godsake! That aside...I decided to go celebrate a younger friend's b-day at this club that I had never been to. Why not? I deserve to have fun, too! I could not find anyone to go with me...typical of a recently divorced older mom! So I went solo...a big step for me!

This was a huge dance hall with 6 floors of different types of dance themes like 80's, country, hip hop and so forth and so on...I arrive first before my friends and just wandered around texting them where I was and where I should meet them.

I walk into the hip hop room...dear god...there are dance cages and poles and video screens and a long bar you can dance on if you wish! And there were very large women (and skinny pole girls, too) up on these "stages" doing their thang and shaking body parts I didn't know could move! Wow! Have I been in a marriage cave or what! I have not been on the singles scene in over 15 years and I never remember going to clubs like this. I am sure they existed, I was just not one for the club scene as I shared earlier. I was more the geek type spending time doing more wholesome things with my time like studying and reading and researching...I was the academic type...college and grad school.

Anyway, my friends arrive all decked out in their hippety hoppety clothes. I have to say I did think through what I would wear. I couldn't go all clothed like a mommy type...so I wore an off the shoulder black number with dangling strings, some cool nicker jeans with holes in them (on purpose) and some very high heels and fashionably loud jewelry...so I think I fit in with the dance crowd. My friends thought I looked hot so I passed that litmus test. Whew!

Back to the action on the dance floor, on the poles, and in the cages...yep! I was so impressed with these really large women that could move and dance like "professionals" and were so not shy about their bodies. I am not a skinny mini...more like the JLo type with more junk in my trunk than I care to have...however, you could not pay me enough to get up there and show it like these women. Okay, maybe after some "professional" dance classes and 3 sizes smaller - I might think about it with the right guy or some girlfriends...but not this night...no way!

My younger girlfriend was an amazing dancer. She could shake it like no other and she had a body to show off to boot. So more power to her on her b-day! She jumped on that bar and did a serious dance number for her boyfriend...lucky boy he is!

I am not a drinker so let's move on passed the bar scene.

I am standing there with another woman a bit older than me, but very attractive. She was also a friend of my younger friend. I had heard about her, but this was my first time meeting her. She was also divorced with three older children. We were both amazed at how not shy some of these large women were to be dancing like that on these stages. We both agreed we were acting too shy and needed to break out of our self-imposed cages. So we danced.

Here is where my exciting "naked truth is embarrassing" part starts...some guy comes up to me and asks me to dance. I say yes. He's African American. This is important because I have never danced with much less dated someone from this ethnic background. It was a novel experience for me. I have no racial prejudice against black people. My bestest friend in the world and my maid of honor at my wedding is from this ethnic background. I have gone to school with and been friends with and worked with black people for many years....just never danced with one! I know this sounds so unpolitically correct...not sure how else to write this except as the naked and embarrassing truth! So he asked me as we are dancing if I have ever "been" with a "brother" or dated one. I paused and said, "let me think". He laughed and said, "if you have to think, then you probably haven't." So he must have picked up that this was a novel experience for me. In fact the whole hip hop thing was a novel experience for me!

Anyway...this guy could dance! And if I have a good lead, I can dance to0! I pick up quickly ya know. So we just started bumping and grinding (I think that is what it's called - lol!) and getting down on the dance floor. I was having a blast! An embarrassing blast, but it's the naked truth! Then he took me off the dance floor all hot and sweaty and we kept dancing and "stuff" - hard to share the naked truth now without blushing...nothing illegal...just touchy feely...kissing...and so forth and so on.

Yeah, he is all into me...telling me how passionate I am and how he likes the way I move and how hot looking I am and so forth and so on. Of course, it feeds my little puny divorced ego a bit to know that I "still got it" after my ex left me for a gorgeous model!

And I know some of you are thinking..."he's just a player and telling you what you want to hear." I know! I ain't dumb. Naked lies have their place! He could lie to me all night...I was just enjoying the attention. My reasonable self was in control - remember, I don't drink.

As we are messing around, I see my new friend (the older woman) dancing in a cage with this young 20 something! So then I didn't feel so embarrassed anymore. More "cougar" power to her! Lol! And if you don't know what a "cougar" is, it is a woman over 40 who likes/dates younger men/boys. The guy I was dancing with was about my age. No cougar here...at least not yet!

As I am talking with this guy, my closest friend finally shows up. I introduce them and he asks for my number and then has to leave. I give it to him not caring whether he calls or not. He was nice enough, but I know that was just a moment we had and that's probably all.

My girlfriend and I then move to the country dance floor. And within minutes some older guy in a black cowboy hat asks me to dance. I told him that I hoped he was a strong lead because I had not danced country in about 17 years! He was. He had me spinning on the dance floor in no time. (I told you I pick up quickly). He was a nice man but had god awful teeth...some missing! Lord in heaven! But again, I was there to dance and enjoy myself...not pick up a guy.

Went back to the table where my girlfriend was and she was talking to some young boy in his 20's. Now this girlfriend is a cougar. She has no problem catching younger men. She looks young for her age. However, at the moment she is actually in a relationship with a guy who is only a few years younger than her. She was just having a simple conversation with the boy...and he was enjoying leaning over looking down her blouse as she spoke to him in his ear (the music was loud ya know).

Then the lights went on and time for the club to close...2am! I couldn't believe time had passed so quickly. There was cowboy following me around. He gave me his card with his number. (Not sure what I did with it). Said he'd like to take me to dinner and dancing when he is back in town. I'm not so sure about that. His teeth! I have some standards and having teeth is one of them!

That is the naked truth!